There is a vast reservoir of courage in America that goes unappreciated. It’s nothing short of a crime against the honor of so many thankless individuals who have the temerity and bravery to bare their souls to the public and seek nothing in return except a large advance and favorable prospects for professional advancement. If I were a religious person I would probably be calling for sainthood.
I’m talking about all the amazing individuals who have held their tongue and endured the horror of a terrible administration only to write tell-all books as quickly as humanly possible. They deserve our gratitude and support. Of course they were obsequious enablers for months and years in some cases, but they put themselves on the right side of history and washed their hands of any culpability in the face of a nice payday and well-received lap through the puffery of interview television. Who cares about the country when you can be on The View one day.
I cannot allow another day to pass without calling them out by name and acknowledging the needle they’ve threaded to be accepted into the good graces of the rational and moral world. So here’s to you John Bolton, William Barr, Mark Esper, Stephanie Grisham, The Mooch, Omarosa Manigault Newman, the staffer who was known as Anonymous, and anyone else who is still writing, wrestling with which fabulist title to use, or waiting for the right offer to roll in. You embody the American spirit of commodification and self-preservation at all costs. We thank you for your service.